Mom, I Broke Your Thing

"Mom, I broke your thing," said one of my children.  I haven't posted a blog in a long while but this statement made me really think about starting up again.  I often fly of the handle when I hear words like this.  I am always on guard waiting for the other shoe to drop because it always does.  I rarely have time to stop and truly enjoy my children.  I always seem to be parenting (fussing, lecturing, nagging, etc.).

This morning was different...probably because I sent two girls to school on the verge of tears after I once again explained to them why actually doing their homework is important.  I began blogging after I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis because I wanted my children to have evidence that I loved them despite my ever present rantings about homework, socks in the yard, dirty clothes on the floor next to the hamper, dishes on the table...well you get the idea.  This morning I sent those two girls to school thinking that I am disappointed in them.  While I am disappointed in their choices, I could never be disappointed in them.

So, when I heard those words that something of mine had been broken, I made a very conscious decision to at least wait for the explanation before losing my cool.  I guess it was the immense guilt from the earlier events that led me to be rational this time.  I have many things so maybe this time it's not something that I really care about anyway.  I mean almost all of the really important stuff has already been broken!  I waited for one of the youngest members of our family to plead his case.  This one is young enough to not have the smarts to hide it, lie about it, or blame it on one of the others.  That sweet boy had broken...wait for it...my pencil.  Ummmm, so glad I decided to keep my cool!  

As parents of many, Jason and I are so used to putting out fires that we are beginning to see every one as a potential inferno.  I over think and immediately envision the multitude of possible outcomes.  I am running out of time with the older ones.  I guess I just want to make sure that I get everything in before they go.  My goal is to make them successful while fully knowing that success will be on their terms.  I hope that when they have their own children they will look back and say...maybe mom wasn't so crazy after all.  Of course, I secretly hope that my grandchildren, at least once, forget to do their homework, leave their dirty clothes hanging around, and break at least one thing...payback!

Nov. 11...Today I am thankful for Veterans

When my mother told me that my brother was joining the Army, my first thought was that we were going to loose the war.  I think that this is a common reaction of big sisters.  I saw him as a lost little boy whose father had died too soon.  I didn't see him as a soldier who could defend an entire country.  I was wrong.  He went to Iraq and not only performed his job but came back alive.  He must have done something right.

Today, I thank God for every veteran and every man and woman who have been affected by war.  It was hard for my mom to send her only son to battle especially when she was still grieving.  It was harder for her to send him back after he extended his enlistment.  I thank God for mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, children, and all other loved ones who support the military in their lives.  I thank God for the safe return of so many and even more thanks for those that sacrifice their lives.  I am proud to be an American on this day and everyday.

Nov. 9 and 10...On these two days I am thankful for friends, prayers, and doctors.

Yesterday, Genevieve had a doctor's appointment.  Her spleen has been enlarged for almost two months.  It was first detected during a check-up when she had a high fever.  The fever and obvious viral infection was thought to be the cause of the spleen problems.  We have gone back to the pediatrician every two weeks since just to check on it.  Our doctor decided that enough was enough and sent us on to do blood work first thing this morning.  I knew that she was checking for lymphoma or leukemia.  I also knew that she was almost sure that it was neither of those things causing the spleen to be enlarged but they had to be ruled out.

I am thankful that the results came back normal.  Her spleen should return to it's normal size in a few weeks.  Apparently that viral infection was a bad one.  I am also thankful for my friends and family who provided so much comfort.  Even though I knew that the chances of something bad were extremely slim, it was so nice to know that prayers were being said.    I have the best friends and family.  I can call on them for anything.  I promise that I won't keep hogging all of the prayers though!!!

Nov. 8...I am thankful for Tuesdays

I know that I have already written about our Tuesday schedule but I continue to be thankful for this time that I have with my children.  Today Annelise joined us.  She usually goes home with a friend and then they both go to dancing until 8:00.  She has a big test coming up so she decided to come along with us for some extra study time during gymnastics and piano lessons.

Our suburban becomes a desk for homework, a dining room table for supper, and a holy place during our Rosary.  We always say the Sorrowful Mysteries and listen to the scripture verses that goes with each mystery on the ride home.  I meditated on the sacrifice of Jesus and the pain of his mother this evening.  What a unimaginable site it must have been for Mary to see her child suffer.  I am reminded that the struggles of my children are surmountable.  Tests and grades, while stressful for me and my children, will not result in the end of the world.  We will strive to do our best and to use our talents but I hope that we will put the results into perspective.

Nov. 7...Today I am thankful for my life

I have a wonderful life.  I could complain about a few things but for the most part I am so lucky.  As I put our house back together as I often do on Mondays, I realized that this is just what I should be doing.  I don't enjoy cleaning up but I enjoy the peace that comes from it.  I know that things flow smoother when the dishes are done and the laundry is put away.  

I often think how nice it would be to lunch with my lady friends in Anthropology dresses and fantastic red soled shoes at amazing restaurants.  I think that life would get old quickly.  I am more of a homebody with each passing day.  I get out for my children's activities but pass on the grown-up ones more and more.  I may not live a glamorous life but I live a fulfilling one.  I can go to sleep at night knowing that I am loved and I have people to love.

So many people have so much more than I do but way more have less.  I am a lucky girl.  I thank God everyday for my life.

Nov. 6...Today I am thankful for football

I am thankful for football not for what it is but for what it does.  We were invited to several football parties for the big game last night.  I saw numerous pictures posted on Facebook of people enjoying the LSU/Alabama game with friends.  I love that people get together and enjoy each other's company in the name of football.  While we declined the offers and chose to watch the game at home, we enjoyed it none the less.

We lit the pit for the Saints game today.  The children are ready to cheer them on.  We are somewhat lost on the weekends after football ends.  The crazy thing is...we aren't really fans.  If another offer is available, we will often forgo the game for something else.  We don't change plans for football but we do watch if we are around a TV.  It's not that we don't want the home teams to win but we just don't typically plan our lives around the games.  Yet, we still miss them when the season ends.

I have friends who live for football.  I am beyond happy for them when events like last night happen.  I am ecstatic that UL is doing so well.  I love the energy that this winning season has on our area.  I can only wish that spirit continues if the scores drop.

Nov. 5...Today I am thankful for Saturdays!

I am the only one awake right now.  This is a rare occurrence.  Usually, our mornings are hectic during the week and on Sundays.  We are trying to become presentable in a short amount of time...get dressed, teeth brushed (or not brushed depending on which child you are), shoes on, and hair somewhat presentable.  On Saturdays, we are relaxed and often stay in our PJs for hours after we have woken up.  We can enjoy each other (in a perfect world this would happen) without the stress of hurrying up.

I drink my coffee slower on Saturdays.  I don't yell as much (at least that is what I tell myself).  We take on projects that we normally don't have time for.  For example, today we have big plans to finally carve the almost rotting pumpkins that I bought two weeks ago.  Saturdays are for family and we take advantage of every one of them.  I am thankful for Saturdays and wish they came more often than once a week.